One can find a lot of stuff
on the ‘InterWeb’ if one tries …
Opinion by William
Wilczewski
On Jan. 22, I saw some
eye-popping news on the InterWeb.
Literally.
And, after reading the
headline “Eyelid-weightlifting raises eyebrows in China,” I was convinced this
should be a new Olympic sport.
The story was brought to us by Producer of NBC
News Ed Flanagan.
It went to tell that Beijing’s Wang Xianxiang’s talent is an
eyeful. You see, the 42-year-old fireworks maker from the central Chinese
province of Hunan was photographed Jan. 19 performing his signature trick:
Suspending two water buckets with a combined weight of 9 pounds on plastic
hangers hooked to his eyelids for a minute.
It
starts with a no-duh—or my version of saying an understatement:
“When I first started it was extremely
painful,” Wang told NBC News about his unique talent.
He went on: “But after a lot of practice it’s
just uncomfortable today.”
What does he mean? Uncomfortable like the tag
on the back of a T-shirt OR uncomfortable like putting porcupines down one's
pants?
I imagine the latter, right?
Anyway, if you can believe it or not Xianxiang has other talents. It’s as if
Einstein was a NASCAR mechanic, too, or has better painting examples than the
Mona Lisa, right?
Anyway, according to the report: “Among other
talents he’s developed for the show? Having two men wrap a metal wire tightly
around his neck while he talks to the audience, which he says has been in the
thousands.”
Sounds like a trick my wife would like to play
on me!
The story went on: “Wang, who is married with
two children, said he has been doing his eyelid trick for five to six years and
started doing it purely out of boredom.”
How bored could this guy have possibly been? I
mean, this would only make sense if he was more bored than Mike Tyson at a
Female Sports Reporters Sensitivity Training meeting.
But, back to The Retina Racer …
The report, which was contributed to by Le Li
of NBC News, went on: “But as he increased the weight on his eyelids, he
started to train – practicing for 30 minutes each morning and two hours at
night.”
This is what I call dedication, folks! All
curlers ever do from for training is the 12-ounce kind, but this guy is
actually breaking a sweat, it seems.
Surprisingly (insert sarcastic tone here) the
story said that: “Wang’s family initially frowned upon his hobby, but slowly
came around as his stature grew within the community.”
Sure, by now this guys bigger to his community
than former NBA star Manute Bol was to the people of Sudan, where the
Freak-Of-Nature, 7-foot-7-inch “special blessing” (the meaning of his name in
Sudanese) was born.
Bol, who had more blocked shots than points
scored during career, had a 10-year NBA career before spending one in the CBA
and one in Italy.
Xianxiang’s
career, on the other hand, should be much longer.
Why?
Well, like
most great athletes, his work ethic.
Want
proof?
When
asked by NBC News what his aspirations for the future were, Wang
kept it focused.
“I can currently hold 4.5 pounds on each eyelid,” he said. “I’d
like to push that to 11 pounds per eyelid.”
The story also went on to say that the 42-year-old
was optimistic that he could accomplish that eye-popping feat by the end of the
year.
Best of luck Xianxiang—I’ll be keeping an eye on you!
Yes, that pun WAS intended!
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