Photo / MSN.com
Chesty, the future Marine Corps mascot, poses
at
Marine Barracks on Valentine's Day.
Opinion by William Wilczewski
On
Monday—well, yesterday to be exact—I was floored!
Let
me put it this way, Manny “Pac-man” Pacquiao had nothing on me—even after his
Dec. 8 debacle against Juan Manuel Marquez.
This,
anyway, is how busted up I felt after seeing the attached photo and
accompanying story about Pfc.
Chesty XIV, who is slated to replace Sgt. Chesty XIII on March 29, “following
some rigorous obedience training,” according to a MSN.com article I saw on the
‘InterWeb.’
The article went on to say that the “9-week-old aww-worthy English bulldog arrived
at Marine Barracks on Valentine's Day.”
I
imagine he was mistaken for an early marshmallow Easter Bunny treat.
Anyway,
the article failed to say why Sgt. Chesty XIII is “retiring” next month, and
why in the world this world-renowned group chose a sad cotton ball to represent
one of the fiercest fighting forces this side of Darth Vader’s galaxy.
You
see, even according to the article, “legend has it that the breed was adopted
as the unofficial mascot thanks to its tenacious demeanor after the Germans
nicknamed Marines "teufel-hunden," or Devil-Dogs.
“The
troops' fierce fighting in 1918 reportedly sparked images of snarling,
helmet-clad bulldogs. But for now, little Chesty's heading for recruit
training, where he'll learn to march and look generally distinguished and
adorable.”
In
other words, instead of a snarling, helmet-clad bulldogs, what we have here is
a sniveling, no-domed wimp! (Chesty, why
have you forsaken me?!)
An
honorably discharged Marine myself—the debate continues if I should call myself
retired, former or ex, or someone please tell me!—I would rather volunteer
for getting my private hairs removed with a chainsaw than praise this pooch as
my Corps’ next mascot—official, unofficial or otherwise—unless, that is, he grows
up and starts looking and acting like Spike from Tom and Jerry cartoon fame.
If not, I hope this is all just a big
joke.
If not … again … I WILL still
steadfastly remain Semper Fidelis—or always faithful—but now, I will just need
to grin and bear it, dawg-gone-it!
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