2013 Derby Name-Game

Opinion by William Wilczewski

I took a rest the entire month of April just to get ready for my inaugural Kentucky Derby blog, so here goes …

I was texting a friend the other day about our annual Derby wager. It went something like this:

HIM: You’re going down this year!

ME: No chance of that my friend. Ifeelluckythisyear. But Youalwayshavehope, I guess, but no horse w/ that name this year, so you will have to Relyonluck. Jejeje. Let the fun begin!

The fun I was referring to was the gobs trash-talking that will be tossed across cyberspace in text messages and e-mails for the family that lives far away, and the actually trash-talking that will take place face-to-face leading up to the most exciting two minutes in sports that begins Saturday at 3:24 p.m. MST—or the exact post time of this year’s Derby.

But you may be asking why no spaces between some of the words in my text? Well, it was my funny attempt at what I might name a horse if I had been born on the money side of tracks.

If that had happened, I hope I would have still been my usual self and have a sense of humor about it all.

Anyway, it made me think about what my Top 10 Names For A Racehorse Would Be. Aside from 10-8 above, here’s the rest of my list.

7) Hopeallotherstrip;

6) Watch4dabombsbehindme;

5) Herestoheyintheeye;

4) Stopwhippingme;

3) Mynextstopisthepreakness;

2) Iamallergictoroses;

and my final Top 10 Name For A Racehorse Would Be …

1) GethealthyDerekJeter

(Don’t ask me why they don’t put spaces between the words. They just don’t. If anyone out there knows, though, please drop me a note.)