Bashing of Beard Brothers was out of bounds for ‘lowly Lafleur’

Opinion by WILLIAM WILCZEWSKI

TODAY’S NEWS-HERALD

 

Guy Lafleur is a hockey legend.

He was the first player in the NHL to score 50 goals and 100 points in six straight seasons.

He also has five Stanley Cup championships under his belt—all with the Montreal Canadians—so a certain amount of respect has been earned.

Sadly, I need to put that respect in my back pocket for a second after Lafleur—who was pretty well-known for his golden flowing locks as he zipped around the rink—recently bashed The Beard Brothers of the San Jose Sharks, which try to tie the Stanley Cup Finals at 3-3 today in a best-of-seven series.

Unless you’ve been living in a cave—or just don’t like the sport of hockey for some odd reason—you’ll know that I’m talking about center Joe Thornton and defenseman Brent “Chewbacca” Burns, who have both grown face sweaters that would make Merlin and Grizzly Adams blush with inadequacy.

I mean, you could lose a compact car in these guys’ chin curtains.

And, as much as I hate to admit it, their soup strainers put the NBA’s James Harden and MLB’s Brian Wilson to shame. The only one that comes close in the wild world of sports might be the NFL’s Brett Keisel, but I guess that’s hair (ooops, I mean, here) nor there.

Anyway, Lafleur went on to tell the Montreal Gazette: “I think it’s a disgrace for hockey. I hate it. It’s not a good image for the NHL.”

Really?

Is this the same National Hockey League he’s talking about that gives you a two-minute fighting penalty for what would get you an assault charge on the streets?

I mean, the NHL’s image is based on gorillas crosschecking each other on skates and Lafleur figures a little facial hair is going to tarnish their controlled-gladiator-violence-inside-a-200-by-85-foot-ice-pit reputation?

“I don’t mind a guy wearing a beard, but to his belly … enough is enough,” Lafleur added. “The team’s managers should put their foot down.”

Oh, yes, let’s forget about the ever-increasing high-sticking, near-decapitating, concussion-causing, Highlander-esque collisions that have plagued the league in the past few seasons. By all means, Guy, let’s put our foot down on … er, um … whiskers!

That’ll make the brass happy.

Actually, on second thought, maybe Lafleur was just concerned that the added facial fluff might be affecting the players’ ability, because, he also joked about the Sharks, saying, “They can’t see the puck. “That’s why they’re struggling.”

No, Guy, struggling is the Buffalo Sabres, Carolina Hurricanes and Edmonton Oilers—all of which have a better chance of scoring on their own net in next season’s opener than making the playoffs, let alone getting to Lord Stanley’s Finals and hoisting The Cup in victory.

As for Thornton and Burns, they have certainly helped the Sharks nearly do just that. In fact, prior to Thursday’s Game 5 win, in 22 playoff games, Thornton had three goals and 17 assists, while Burns netted six goals and 16 assists for a team that made the finals for the first time in franchise history.

Nothing too disgraceful about that … but I could be wrong.

Wilczewski can be reached at wwilczewski@havasunews.com.